Marrying Mark + Viv...
...feck knows it's a load off our minds at least...
As you all know...there's *something* going on between Viv and Marky...they won't admit it, they won't show signs of it in school, but I'm sure something's happening. So, because I'm such a good friend, I have hearby put them out of their misery of secrecy and such, by marrying them.
Now remember, this is no legal wedding, but it still shows a sign of their commitment for each other, and how much they care about each other...awwwww...
So, with a spring in my step, I toddled along to the church, and filled in the ever-so-extensive personal details section.
Cue some tacky music, and the usual boring info and introductions...then, onto the vital questions...at no point during the ceremony, did Mark or Viv show any sign of nervousness, or sign that they wanted to back out of the wedding...
Acting as a proxy for Mark and Viv's reactions, naturally I pressed "I will".
Next, the vows were to be read out. As it's an online wedding...vows can't really be read out...so you have to copy out the vows written for you...as you can see, Mark went with what he was told, and copied out the vows to the letter, however, even though Viv's vows aren't what you would call conventional, or normal, or sane, they still convey the same emotion of love, joy, and wanting to be with Mark for the rest of his life.
A short wait, and I'm presented with an ever-so-lovely marriage certificate...look how professionial it is...
So, as you spend your evenings/mornings wallowing around, spare a thought for Viv and Mark, now happy on their honeymoon, sleeping in seperate beds, of seperate houses, totally unaware of their marital bliss.
This has been a public service by Andrew Baillie. Thank you.