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LIFE OF ME (Pigmy shrew)

One day a man with a limp and a bad leg shot me with an animal changer-into gun. It wasn't very nice. I was turned into a pigmy shrew.

I was then used to my new body, so carried on walking down the road. I din't like the man with a wig and a bad leg, he was nasty. So I found where he was, and bit his b*****ks off. They were tiny, so I had to eat his weiner as well. Then my small pigmy shrew body was full, so I dangled a brick, which was stapled to his scrotum, over a cliff and he died.

Then I was bored, so I stuck cocktail sticks ni my eyes. After a few days of pain I pulled my eyes out, and rolled them down a hill into a drain.

I could still see poo in the sewers, it was bad.

I was hungry, so I found a potato so I started eating it. But cos I had no eyes, It wasn't a spud, it woz pat, and I died.

When I was dead, a boy called Simon stuck a stick up my dead pigmy shrew arse, and waved me around until I flew off.

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