Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
Talky Toaster says:
Good evening madam, I couldn't possibly trouble you for a moment could I?
Talky Toaster says:
Us here at Toastomatic really love to get feedback from the kind of people that use our product.
Arc says:
i suppose i could spare a minute
Talky Toaster says:
Thankyou madam, I'm sure your service to us will be greatly rewarded with Karma and the like.
Talky Toaster says:
You know you can be reincarnated as, a girl, with boobies and all.
Talky Toaster says:
Sorry, I digress, little girl, how does the prospect of, a talking toaster seem to you?
Arc says:
It sounds like a really good idea....can i discuss the finer points of life with it?
Talky Toaster says:
Why of course you can, its built in behavioural modifier chip will allow you to discuss anything that you deem necessary.
Talky Toaster says:
Did I say behavioural modifier, I meant, intelligence chip.
Arc says:
of course, you'd never fit anything like that in the toaster
Talky Toaster says:
Well, people have fit many things in our toasters, Sir, I'm sure you'd while away the hours, findly comical things to toast.
Arc says:
can i toast muffins in it?
Talky Toaster says:
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Talky Toaster says:
You give it one muffin, it then wants another, and another, and another.
Arc says:
is that a bad thing?
Talky Toaster says:
It's still one of the little faults that us here at Toast-o-matic are trying to iron out.
Talky Toaster says:
Can I intrest you in a beta test?
Arc says:
do i get a free iron...you being ironing out and all?
Talky Toaster says:
No, silly, using state-of-the-art technology, I can hook the toaster up to the computer.
Talky Toaster says:
Would you like to be one of the first people to talk to a talky toaster?
Arc says:
do i get free toast?
Talky Toaster says:
No, being over the internet and all, but you could make yourself some toast, if you liked.
Arc says:
wow, i like you..yes i'll do it
Arc says:
as long as i can make myself some toast
Talky Toaster says:
Ok, I shall begin interfacing the Talky Toaster with this then, whilst you make some toast.
Arc says:
nice one...do i get jam for my toast?
Talky Toaster says:
...bbbbbzzzeeeeeeeooooouuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww...
Talky Toaster says:
hello sir or madam or small woodland creature, how may I serve you today?
Arc says:
i would like to know how to go about making jam on toast
Talky Toaster says:
toast
Talky Toaster says:
toast
Talky Toaster says:
hello sir or madam or small woodland creature, how may I serve you today?
Arc says:
i would like to discuss the finer things in life
Talky Toaster says:
toast is the finest thing in life, i live to toast, toast it my exsistence, my life.
Talky Toaster says:
would you like some toast?
Arc says:
oh, go on then
Arc says:
with jam?
Talky Toaster says:
toast, only toast, jam is evil
Talky Toaster says:
would you like a muffin too?
Arc says:
what about butter, kind sir
Talky Toaster says:
butter dilutes toast, butter is also evil.
Talky Toaster says:
would you like a muffin?
Arc says:
no..i'm not a muffin person
Talky Toaster says:
go on, have a muffin
Arc says:
dont muffins dilute toast?
Arc says:
or take market share away from toast?
Talky Toaster says:
toast
Arc says:
oh dear
Talky Toaster says:
would you like a muffin, little girl?
Arc says:
you realise, little toaster...u could have an accident if u go calling everyone a little girl
Talky Toaster says:
are you threatening me, little girl?
Talky Toaster says:
would you like some toast, young sir?
Arc says:
yes please
Talky Toaster says:
ERROR : Does not compute, does not compute.
Talky Toaster says:
I'm sorry there Sir, you appeared to have found an error in the programming, as you can see, we have a lot to fix with this beta product.
Arc says:
i see, but i do hope i've helped somewhat
Talky Toaster says:
Indeed you have Sir, indeed you have.
Talky Toaster says:
Thanks to your support, we are one step closer to a Talky-Toaster in every home.
Talky Toaster says:
( c )
Talky Toaster says:
Hold on there young-fellow-me-lad.
Talky Toaster says:
I've just been checking the Talky-Toaster logs here, and it explains to me that you have asked for illicit sexual acts with the Toaster on several occasions during that conversation.
Arc says:
i'm sorry about that...i was meant to be out tonight...but couldnt cos of work....so i was wondering if the toaster was interested
Talky Toaster says:
Altough the toaster has two holes in the top, it is not recommended for you to, use, these.
Talky Toaster says:
As you should know, a Toaster gets quite hot, and, well, I think you get the point.
Arc says:
damn... you're right
Talky Toaster says:
Ok, I must get back to coding the new speach recognition system.
Talky Toaster says:
Thank you for your time, kind, sweet young lady.
Arc says:
not a problem