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Last updated - Holiday: 27/08/041
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* When it appears that you have killed the
monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
* Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even
as a joke.
* Do not search the basement, especially if the
power has gone out.
* If your children speak to you in Latin or any
other language which they should not know, shoot
them immediately. It will save you a lot of
grief in the long run. However, it will probably
take several rounds to kill them, so be
prepared. This also applies to kids who speak
with somebody else's voice.
* As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.
* If you're searching for something which caused a
loud noise and find out that it's just the cat,
GET THE HELL OUT!
* If you find a town which looks deserted, there's
probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and
look around.
* Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology
unless you're sure you know that you're doing.
* If you're running from the monster, expect to
trip or fall down at least twice. Also note
that, despite the fact that you are running and
the monster is merely shambling along, it's
still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
* If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely
road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking
house to phone for help. If you think that it is
strange because you thought you had half of a
tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to
die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
* When trying to escape from a serial killer,
never run UPstairs.
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